this will probably be a long post. i like to do end of the year recaps.
so yeah, 2011.. the year began great, went shitty before my birthday (worst birthday so far too lol), and it’s been a roller coaster road ever since.
first year in uni! i got a more than average for the overall result, but it wasn’t as good as i expected :(
and yeah, i made loads of new acquaintances and a few new friends, met a bunch of cool tutors, a few awesome ones. i have one aussie ‘friend’ (finally) yayy haha. yes, it is a big deal.
some subjects i took are great, mindblowing, like… media. hahaha. easily the best subject i’ve taken so far. my media tutor is the coolest, nicest tutor too.
french was great too, but… why were you a little less than i expected this sem, huh? :’(
i’ve been having (still) this dilemma of staying or leaving commerce and going to arts. lol. maybe if things ended up really badly in the commerce area or something. cos my breadth subjects are the highest scoring ones, much more than the commerce subjects. does that tell you anything?
music-wise, this has been an AWESOME year. i discovered to tons of good bands which became favourites in just a short period of time. You Me At Six, Sleeping With Sirens, We Are The Ocean (found my lovely drummer), Pierce The Veil, La Dispute, Man Overboard, The Wonder Years, The Amity Affliction, Lower Than Atlantis… to name a few.
this year i watched concerts too!
A Day To Remember & Underoath, You Me At Six & We The Kings, and Counter Revolution.
Let’s not forget meeting WATO boys in CR. I’ve met my kind of the-most-gorgeous-guy-on-earth… in real life :’)
but yeah, other things aren't as great. neither is my state of mind.
it's pretty safe to say that i've lost contact with many of my highschool friends. not particularly something i favour, but i didnt do anything much to it either. because we all change. or maybe them, not so too freaking much. not as much as i did. i realise people may see me coming off as an arrogant prick but that's just the way it is, the fact is that many of them dont have to go through the changes that i went through. a few years in melbourne turned me different. no, im not saying my highschool friends are inferior beings. i just.. no longer feel as comfortable around so many of them. im not saying this works for all of my friends. ah, you'll get what i mean. that's why i kinda moved on. and i expect nothing so i dont get disappointed in anything. if you wanna hang out, i'm still available. just dont be too surprised if im not the same. but heck, i conceal it pretty well, as long as i dont have to say anything about it.
speaking of moving on.... yeah. it's officially over. we almost made it to 2.5 years. but whatever, right? it's not like you care. it's not like anyone cares. i wish i could say the same, tho. it kills me that i still care, no matter how hard i deny. it's pretty pointless. maybe i should stop resisting, if that's the only way. what sucks the most is knowing that things will never be the same again between us. i wish it would. i wish, in a sorry way, even though we're no longer together, things wouldn't change. but if i keep wishing that, it only proves that i haven't been learning anything these past couple of years. i told you im a learner, it's time to man up and put principles into practice. at least you cant say im still in denial. im fucking ready. im moving on. i have been doing so even before it happened. so it wont hurt as much. well it didnt hurt as much then. but i dont know, sometimes i can feel it creeping up on me. i'm alright though, i swear i am.
im really sorry if i've been a very negative person lately. and negativity can be contagious. so i apologise. but,
so yeah, 2011.. the year began great, went shitty before my birthday (worst birthday so far too lol), and it’s been a roller coaster road ever since.
first year in uni! i got a more than average for the overall result, but it wasn’t as good as i expected :(
and yeah, i made loads of new acquaintances and a few new friends, met a bunch of cool tutors, a few awesome ones. i have one aussie ‘friend’ (finally) yayy haha. yes, it is a big deal.
some subjects i took are great, mindblowing, like… media. hahaha. easily the best subject i’ve taken so far. my media tutor is the coolest, nicest tutor too.
french was great too, but… why were you a little less than i expected this sem, huh? :’(
i’ve been having (still) this dilemma of staying or leaving commerce and going to arts. lol. maybe if things ended up really badly in the commerce area or something. cos my breadth subjects are the highest scoring ones, much more than the commerce subjects. does that tell you anything?
music-wise, this has been an AWESOME year. i discovered to tons of good bands which became favourites in just a short period of time. You Me At Six, Sleeping With Sirens, We Are The Ocean (found my lovely drummer), Pierce The Veil, La Dispute, Man Overboard, The Wonder Years, The Amity Affliction, Lower Than Atlantis… to name a few.
this year i watched concerts too!
A Day To Remember & Underoath, You Me At Six & We The Kings, and Counter Revolution.
Let’s not forget meeting WATO boys in CR. I’ve met my kind of the-most-gorgeous-guy-on-earth… in real life :’)
but yeah, other things aren't as great. neither is my state of mind.
it's pretty safe to say that i've lost contact with many of my highschool friends. not particularly something i favour, but i didnt do anything much to it either. because we all change. or maybe them, not so too freaking much. not as much as i did. i realise people may see me coming off as an arrogant prick but that's just the way it is, the fact is that many of them dont have to go through the changes that i went through. a few years in melbourne turned me different. no, im not saying my highschool friends are inferior beings. i just.. no longer feel as comfortable around so many of them. im not saying this works for all of my friends. ah, you'll get what i mean. that's why i kinda moved on. and i expect nothing so i dont get disappointed in anything. if you wanna hang out, i'm still available. just dont be too surprised if im not the same. but heck, i conceal it pretty well, as long as i dont have to say anything about it.
speaking of moving on.... yeah. it's officially over. we almost made it to 2.5 years. but whatever, right? it's not like you care. it's not like anyone cares. i wish i could say the same, tho. it kills me that i still care, no matter how hard i deny. it's pretty pointless. maybe i should stop resisting, if that's the only way. what sucks the most is knowing that things will never be the same again between us. i wish it would. i wish, in a sorry way, even though we're no longer together, things wouldn't change. but if i keep wishing that, it only proves that i haven't been learning anything these past couple of years. i told you im a learner, it's time to man up and put principles into practice. at least you cant say im still in denial. im fucking ready. im moving on. i have been doing so even before it happened. so it wont hurt as much. well it didnt hurt as much then. but i dont know, sometimes i can feel it creeping up on me. i'm alright though, i swear i am.
im really sorry if i've been a very negative person lately. and negativity can be contagious. so i apologise. but,
this is a phase im going to have to go through. i dont know if it turns me better/worse in the long term. however, i'll deal with it accordingly. i'm perfectly fine. kind of. i dont wanna fish for drama. i dont wanna sound like im a total fucking train wreck inside, because i dont feel that way too often. people should stop being drama queens, you know many of you are just either fishing for attention/sympathy for first world problems. i also dislike that many people feel the need to reveal everything, including their mental health problems, to the world. i know you're not proud of it, but i think we should be careful. dont give people any more reason to hurt you, because by explicitly telling the world what's wrong with you.. they can and will use that against you. and im not trying to be mysterious or whatever. it's just something i learned.
i realised that im always easily amused, but never easily impressed. other things:
i tend to have random moments and i laugh the longest over the stupidest/most random reasons.
i never try to be someone else that im not. not even on the internet. i can adjust my attitude according to who im with or talking to, but not my personality.
people tell me i have a mind of a 21 year old (at least), but that doesn't mean i cant act childish sometimes.
im no longer that strong academically, but i swear im not stupid. i can think for myself.
i cant live in autarky, but it's a strong value i can learn a lot from. the good parts, at least.
and yeah, i think the #1 for a 'pet peeve' that's been massively bothering me this year goes to fanatic fans of anything. because when you go fanatic, you go idiotic and deny all common sense as long as your idol(s) win or are the best. you cant accept other people's point of views or opinions, much less defeat. they demand respect and shit when they barely show any.
#2 probably goes to fake fans. those who only like bands/musicians just because they're physically attractive. they go mindless over their beauty (be it genuine or fake), and nothing else matters, even though they might not like the music. or are that good. but yeah. democracy and whatnot. respect others' opinions, no matter how stupid they might be. no matter how much you disagree.
sigh. yeap.
in like a week i'll be going to Bali. Thank goodness for the beaches. I desperately need to unwind there.
2012? well, if the world ends in 2012.. at least i wont have to put up with a lot of shit anymore. but i dont wish so, i still wanna travel the world and do many different things, and go to many more concerts.
yeah, i've fallen deeply in love with concerts. that's the one place where everything makes sense. where i fit in. it really is transcendental, no exaggeration. it's the 2nd best feeling in the world.
2012, come at me, bro.
