oh how they always wait for me

i cant seem to get this song out of my head. and tonight i feel so restless, idk.
this band is one of the most unique bands i discovered. and their lyrics are basically poems.
their other songs are more oriented towards spoken words/hardcore.
and listening to this band is best done through headphones.

 She forced a smile, said,
"Boy, come kiss my mouth—I'll set you free.
You know that hope you're holding to? It looks an awful lot like fear.
Now, you're so quick to fall on failure, and so quick to raise your voice, like,
'If I can't find a mistake to blame, we didn't have a choice.'

Oh, but you had option.
I was your chance to feel complete,
But when I leaned in close to you, you
Kissed your fear instead of me.

You had my hand in your hand,
You had my lip in your teeth,
You had my heart on your sleeve,
You had a chance to breathe.

But, boy, you wouldn't let your fear recede so I moved on.

And it's too late to change your mind now,
You got scared, boy, and I got gone.
Now you failed, and there's no way to turn back time.
You had your chance, boy, I tried."

"You tried?" I looked her in the eye and smiled,
"My girl, you must understand that fear is not some product that I made.
It crept unwelcome in my head the day they had her torn away.
It changed me.

Now at the end of everyday I lie awake at night and wait
To feel the wires of my brain get cut and quietly rearranged, and
Hear my beaten heart exclaim, 'Still, I refuse to let her go.'"

So we escape to our mistakes for they wait patiently for us.
Oh, how they always wait for me.

If my fear has kept me here only my fear can set me free.

And I'm sorry, dear, but don't you dare say another word.
How could I risk holding your heart in me while still in love with her?

You were wrong."

fireworks

so yeah it's been a week. it's still kept on the down low, not because im too sad to tell everyone that, im not even that sad anymore. it's just this overwhelming disappointment that creeps on my back, hanging heavily as it feeds on distant memories and meaningless conversations. the monster on my back keeps telling me to look back, to look at it, to look at him, but i know it's no use. when the castle you made out of expectations crumble, you know there's no use to cry over the debris, and there's no point of going over and analysing them for days and days. well, not really. it's because i know it's already been under attack, and i can only defend for so long, with my ammo running out, shields falling. it slowly penetrates your heart, eating it out, alive, slowly, burning like acid. gradually turning you into a zombie, lifeless, but with this relentless hunger. to find the unseekable. cant be cured. it's never easy, it hasn't been easy, but there's no use grieving over a dead body because your tears don't perform miracles of resurrection. after feeling unempowered for so long, i finally got the courage to sever the ties. and it was much easier for you than me.

as of now, i am no longer your anchor. your compass. your sea.

no, im not grieving over the dead.

im slowly, but surely, rebuilding the castle, not from expectations and silly dreams. slowly gathering myself back together. finding the lost pieces to strengthen me.

i just really need to be motivated, much more than anything.

counter revo

it was pretty much amazing. im just really bummed i didnt get to see WATO for a long time, because the lines are fucking long and the security guards gave us a real hard time just to get in. but at least i got to see them, they’re amazing live, i love love love Liam’s voice… and they signed their picture. i love how Jack, Tom, and Dan are really smiley and friendly. and Tom was wearing a shirt, which is kinda unlike him, and his smile.. :3

Alesana’s live show is pretty.. weird. Thanks to Shawn. But they’re alright.

Funeral For A Friend!! they’ve been one of my favourite bands for so long, being able to see them live and so close made me really happy :)) My favorite was roses for the dead, it was amazing. too bad they didn’t play red is the new black.

Story of the Year was.. alright. Yellowcard too. This Providence is pretty good, thank goodness
I had a great time during ATL.. well I love them, but I kinda dislike having to be stuck like a tuna, and my height doesn’t help either. my knees hurt after all that jumping, but ATL was great :) i love how Jack and Alex kept teasing each other and be cheeky

DRUGS! they were great. i love Craig.
Panic was good, but I only watched a few songs. They’re awesome, they also have this cool vibe that made everyone chilled.

i got myself a WATO tee and a Man Overboard CD.
one hell of a day :’)