your love was foreign to me

i dont know man, this is just a beautiful song.

got my feet on solid ground.

i have nothing worthy enough to write, but it's better than nothing, right?

oh, i figured i kinda have a job now, just had my trial shift and i'll be officially working tomorrow at this small bakery. i'll be working in the front, or as my friend like to call it.. im the 'store bitch'. but being a first time store bitch isnt that easy. i mean, do you know how many trays of bread i have to carry and put into the display? how hot and heavy they are? how narrow are the spaces that i keep bumping around? how the hat doesnt fit my head and hair properly, i look like crap? how my shirt is hard to button?  how quick i have to let go of the milk container so i dont burn it when i foam it? how i have to quickly put in bread in plastic wrappers before the customers' judging eyes? how early i have to wake up just to get minimum wage?

and if you dont know that im being overdramatic there, you shouldnt even be reading my blog.

first-part-time-job-anxiety aside, things have been going pretty slow lately... that is until i get all my questionnaires back for my assignment, then it'd be hell. there goes my social life... out the window :D
but hey, it's almost the end of january! whew. only one month-ish to go before i get to watch my bros in Soundwave!

oh, and can i just say, i love Chuck Palahniuk. the man's a genius. ugh, i wish i can write like him. he's so twisted and yet so brilliant. i might not be blessed with half his intelligence nor wit but man, i wanna be able to arrange words and stories and ideas so well and simplistic... yet so elaborate and deep.

and my room has a new tenant for these 2 weeks! my cousin is temporarily moving in. im so used to living alone, i need to polish my restraints, they were getting a bit rusty. but i've been on my best behaviour so far :3
well the only thing i really need to restrain was my early morning wailings to shayley bourget's voice, really.
kellin has officially met his match!

If wailing mindlessly at 5 AM is a crime, then I'm guilty, and that song is the motive.
I'm sorry Shay, but you should really share some of your talent with me. Or at least be my mentor.

 

okay, i found out that my babe was the one who wrote this song. and this is one of my favourite songs from them. so.....

i wish i can get alan printed on a medium sized poster so i can hang it above my bed tho :3

ah, im in love.

seriously one of the best lyrics i've came across

Have Heart - Armed With A Mind

Caked up and faked up, she's obsessed with the outside
Nothing earned, too afraid to fail, so she lead a hollow life void of insight
Loving what you see but hating what you think because between your mind and your body
There's a missing fucking link that leaves you vulnerable, susceptible to pain
You're a garden of potential submerged in the rain

True beauty can't be seen with the eyes

Armed, armed with a mind
I'm going to strengthen my action with thought
Make use of the gift that I got and walk fearless because I'm armed with a mind
A weak offense when you step to this
Mind over matter is power over fists
I walk fearless because I'm armed with a mind

I walk fearless with a mind far greater than a fucking fist

Spineless and mindless, you flex your muscles and not your fucking head
A deep man with a strong point made without one thoughtful word said
Huff and puff, the fierce fists will do the talking, can't speak for yourself so your crew's with you walking
Tell me what's worth fighting for and it better be something greater than an evening of the score

Boy, your true strength sleeps behind your eyes

It's the absent minded fool who's afraid to think, to extend an open hand, to dare to earn a thing
It's the gift inside your head not to take for granted because an unexaminded life is a seed unplanted
As the animals, they can't reason but as humans we can, so are you just a wild animal or a rational man?
Our bodies take you nowhere, might does not make right
There's a gift inside your head called your mind

im mildly obsessed

..... with Alan Ashby

summer? SUMMAH?

summers arent supposed to be, like, 21 degrees during the day. but whatever, i like the cold.
quite an empty summer,  i say. some of my closest mates arent back here yet, i really miss them. but im alright, i have mates here too. but things just arent the same, huh?
especially that im only doing one subject, havent started on my assignment, and i havent gotten a job. im looking for one, i really hope i'll get one soon. these expenses on tickets, merch, and albums are making me worried.
i've spent almost 2 years here in melbourne, and you dont have to ask me how much i've changed. in good and bad ways. i feel weird.

i've grown smarter. and smart people are never too happy. im not saying im smart, but i havent been feeling too happy lately anyway. maybe that's why people choose to be ignorant. the truth, or our perception of it, can sometimes be too hard to handle. it's difficult not to be bitter when you know the ugly truth.
but wait, smart people arent simply those who know the truth. im just one of those people who can be bothered to think about things many people dont. and torturing myself for it. sweet misery. im licking my blood off my self-inflicted wounds. 

you wanna know the true colours of a person? screw up. fuck with them (metaphorically). see how they react. how far and quick they pull back all the nice words they mindlessly vomit. once a person compliments you too easily, one will take them back the same way. real compliments are hard to earn and sustain.

somebody should conduct a class in for people who are tired of shit. what kind of class would that be? the class where we discuss the annoying things in life and how to deal with it.

by the way, good to know you still care.

and it feels good to just gaze at your laptop screen while listening to la dispute when you have too much in your mind.

here's to the new year's

I don't have many wishes for 2012. Other than probably...
1. Not fuck up
2. Get a part time job
3. Actualize dedication to bands
4. Go to as many concerts possible
5. Stress less about stupid ppl and stuff
6. Move on 100%

By the way, Shayley Bourget's voice is fucking amaaaazing. Of Mice and Men is awesome.
Yes, yes, Shay, I am too young to live this way.

"isn't your main aspiration in life just to eat and sleep?"
"lol. pfft please... what's yours?"

*long pause*

"music... yeah, music."
"loooooooooool" *pulls a mocking face*
"i'm gonna do something about it. im devoting my life to music, to bands... you'll see mate, you'll see."