i really dont think anyone around me understands how my self-deprecating ways are eating me alive.
here i am, a corpse, not quite dead yet, but is rotting and consumed by maggots from the inside.
i like to think im merely a victim of circumstance, but it threw both its hands in the air, "I have nothing to do with this."
disgust fills me up and overtake me, one mistake after another... one action untouched, after another.
i have abhorred myself ever since i can remember.
perhaps, this was the root of the problem all along... "how could you love others, if you dont first love yourself?"
honestly, there is nothing left of me to love.
perhaps, i was the root of the problem all along.
i knew it.
i've lost my way in the forest of perplexity.
you bewilder me.
the trees are starting to engulf me in darkness as the night falls.
im so scared. for the future, for myself, for everything.
this has to stop. soon enough.
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