nouveau or never.

im self-righteous? haha okay. i'll take that. i never said my hands are completely clean.
and yeah, i boasted my so-called righteousness. i accept that as well.
but look where you are now and what you've become.
if you're trying to put yourself on a higher level, you're failing bigtime.
but you'll always deny that, wont you?
you'll never learn if you keep being so fucking ignorant.
swallow your pride a bit.
but if you wanna self-destruct, then i wish you the best of luck, since you're heading towards the right path anyway.. keep driving everyone away.
however, do acknowledge this. that night, i really wanted to tell you horrible things. i managed to keep it down because i wasnt in my best state of mind and neither were you. i didnt wanna say something so bad that i'd regret later.
i had "real big plans and such bad thoughts". but im trying so hard not to manifest them.
i wanted to destroy you. you were asking for it.
but i cant. despite everything, i do hope you'll come to your senses at some point.
you're still my friend. or at least, i still think you are.
you just dont need and want me to be your friend.
how ironic, some of my favorite people in the world often treat me like... junk mail.
sometimes i deserve that. other times, i just dont understand.